to the girl who hates me, a letter

to the girl who hates me, a letter

to the girl that hates me, i'm sorry. i'm sorry you do. no, i'm not sorry for me, but for you. i may be the target of your hatred, but you are the one who holds it. it's burning your skin, holes deeper than pores being worn into your worn flesh. i know because i used to hold it. take it from me, that game of hot potato has no winners, only entertained victims. i know, it feels good for a while, to be the one wronged and not in the wrong. we've all had our time in the warmth of the spotlight as we play the victim. it feels good, a comfort, to be seen like your golden skin under the sun, but that spotlight fades, and that show stops selling out. you'll wonder why, and will for a while. the thing is, the show was never that great to begin with. haven't the woes of the wounded won awards for decades, centuries, more? no need to yell "encore" because the same show keeps playing, and will for centuries more.

we all relate to your story, we do. and i know it hurts, but the truth wasn't meant to. Truth is a person, and He is for you. He and i are so for you. i pray for you. i prayed for you when you were hurt and fired at me and i pray for you still, because i know that pain is your gunpowder, black as night, and hatred your spark. you don't have to let it light. just think about it. i'd say i'd call it a a ceasefire, but that term's only used in a two-sided war, and only one of us is taking fire. i forgive you for the bullets that are your words that ricochet off your brokenness. 

i've noticed you've ceased firing as much, as often. you're tending your wounds. i told you, your hatred only hurts you. to the girl that hates me, please, drop your weapons. this war has no winners, only victims. 

i don't have much special to say of this poem. every now and then, a girl that has hated me (though i'm not sure she'd use that word) pops into my head, and i hurt. i hurt not for myself, but for her. my heart breaks for the fact that she has been so wounded by others that fighting back seems to be her only reasonable response. she is only protecting herself in the way that she knows best. to the girl who hates me, if you're reading this, if you ever do, i hope you know that i've forgiven you, i'm praying for you, and i want only the best for you. i want you to be healed, to be whole. i want you to be reminded again and again and to finally believe just how loved you are, by all of your friends, and most importantly by Christ. we are all so for you.